Power Despite Suffering

What we do with our suffering is a matter of choice.

Whether we are talking about adversity, suffering, setbacks, astrology, any sort of reckoning with/of the Soul or plain old bad weather… I tend to call in mindfulness and caution while stepping out and into the lesson(s) awaiting my ascension.
See, death is often found in or is a player in these things…

Death- The end of something which was.

The suffering and/or adversity that death brings is the catalyst to transformation.
Don’t get me wrong… just because there is suffering, hardships, tragedy or trauma… does not mean we ascend. Just because we experience one of the negative aspects of the human experience, does not mean that we learn the lesson and rise above it, no.

There may be a re-birthing, we may be a different person the other side of “death”… but unless we have embraced the lesson, unless we really sit in it and ask what is it is that we have to shift, on a soul or psychic level, and then we fucking make the shift, we may not ascend.

If we make it through the death and we are found on the other side of the rebirth simply saturating our environments with victim mentality… we will attract more of what was... and call it fate/bad luck/a curse...

During the rebirthing we must alchemize the experience.

We must open ourselves up completely to the possibility of shifting instead of being rigid or radically inclined to think we know how everything is done; and then go on to “mother fuck” the Universe, chronically complain or continuously ask “why me?” after we have been given an opportunity to regenerate, yet refuse to change.

This is not a matter of owning the responsibility for bad things happening… this is stepping up into our power and transforming,
despite the bad thing that has happened.

It is a matter of choice.

I’ll say again what I’ve said before…
I didn’t get this from a book and I didn’t go to a lecture and learn it
from someone else’s book.
I know these things to be true because I have done them!

Because I came from a fatherless and motherless home where there was emotional, spiritual and sexual abuse. I know these things because I grew up in homes saturated with mental illness, substance abuse, great rage and constant abandonment.
I know these things because I was an 18-year-old mother living alone in a neighborhood peppered in violence against women. I know these things because I have struggled with alcohol abuse, self-loathing, explosive and violent tendencies and acceptance of abusive relationships.

Despite the suffering, one day I CHOSE to step into my power
and out of victim mentality. 

Using suffering as a catalyst to growth… and healing.

It is a matter of choice.

2020 is going to be a year of great transformative astrological energy. This energy expects us to work hard, dig deep and commit. This energy asks us to tap into the underdeveloped parts of ourselves… our unspoken passions, our greatest abandoned dreams, our most profound creativity…

This energy will also create just the type of environment that fertilizes rebirth.

First there must be death… an end to something that was.
What are you going to use this energy for? Motherfucking the Universe or stepping into your power?

It is a matter of choice. 

Be brave. Be committed. Be transformed. 

Mary Szenasi~Copyright 2020