The profound effect that inner dialogue has on our wellness.

Is your inner dialogue kind, loving and uplifting?

We each have an innate and powerful ability to
​self-validate or self-sabotage.
Part of why it is such a profound tool of creation or destruction is that much of the time we do not realize we are doing it!​
​ 

These things which are always with us. Ever present and influential.
Our thoughts.
​We have thousands of them a day!
Goals, desires, opinions.
 Good, bad, ugly.
Tell me, is your inner dialogue upbeat,
​supportive and loving?
Or, is it more often negative, hurtful and demoralizing?  
Do you tend to be critical of yourself and others,
or validating and uplifting?
​
If you are scratching your head right now, searching your current thoughts for the answer, you are not alone!
If you aren't already aware of your inner dialogue habits, you really need slow down and make yourself aware.
More often than not, we DON’T know what is going on in our own minds. Practicing mindfulness can be of great help here!
​

Just be....long enough to take notice of how you talk to yourself.

Let's talk self-talk.

One type of inner dialogue that I want to talk about is
​Self-Talk.
You may not know it, but how we talk to ourselves, about ourselves, is a link from our subconscious minds to our conscious minds! 
Here, there is a direct highway for things from our pasts that 
were stored away and sometimes forgotten in our subconscious to become the things that we think and say on a daily basis!

Our subconscious learns its language and survival strategies from the outside world, starting at a very young age. 
From birth until the age of 7 our minds are learning to cope with what our families and societies are teaching us. 
It is during this time that our belief systems are built, our character is created and our subconscious starts storing information 
that will pop out at us later in life,
at the most inopportune moments.
​
When our self-talk is hurtful and critical, it's more than likely 
that these are stored patterns from very early on in our lives. 
This is something that we have to reprogram in ourselves
so that our self-talk creates an inner environment that is conducive to our wellness goals. 
​Everything that we say about ourselves matters because what we think really is what we become!!

Negative mindset.

​The trouble with when our inside chatter is negative
is that we condition our spirits, bodies and environments to become 
​that very thing!
​

It isn't words themselves that change the energy of our situation, 
but they can change our outlook on the situation. 
That is how powerful our minds are! 
The way they filter and process information can literally 
make or break a day!
Not outside stimuli, not words that are spoken, 
not events that take place, but the way our minds process 
all of that information is what manifests negativity. 
​
Negative mindset is not innately part of what we are,
it is a defense mechanism that starts at birth. 
A way to avoid disappointment, ridicule, pain and embarrassment.
It is a by-product of fear. 
A by-product of the events around us in the very early stages of our lives, that conditioned us to leave our natural mind-set
of love in order to survive.

"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think."~Buddha

​An example.
A little girl has time and time again played dress up and ran to her mom to show her what a pretty princess she has become.
Time and time again the mom dismissed the little girl and told her to stop making a mess,
or to clean that junk off of her face. 
Or maybe she simply "yeah, yeah'd" her with a wave of her hand, showing the little girl that what she was so excited about was unimportant, disruptive, or otherwise uninteresting.

Instead of nurturing the little girl's creativity, or encouraging her with compliments and love, the mom has conditioned the little girl to think that playing dress up will end with feeling bad.
One day instead of being disappointed, or feeling as though the makeup on her face and bows in her hair are a mess,
she is going to lose enthusiam, stop wanting to involve her mom and possibly stop playing make believe altogether. 
​
So, although a minor example,
I have demonstrated  how a negative mindset towards confidence/creativity/enthusiasm/self-image can happen to a person early on in life.
​Even if the parent didn't mean any harm. 
​

I am strong, beautiful and powerful!

​Our thoughts and their effects on the body.

Do you know that one of the things that helps to keep inflammation in the body under control is the hormone cortisol? 
Yup. The bodies stress hormone is also an inflammation regulator. 
This is one of the reasons why stress is so tightly linked with inflammation and... dis-ease, because the more we stress and release this hormone, the less effective it becomes at keeping our body's inflammation down.

Now think about thought patterns, inner dialogue
and self-talk for a bit. 
These things, ever present and influential, trigger cortisol to be released in the body each time we stress ourselves out. 
A lot of the time we don't even know it!
Many of us are so used to cortisol flowing through our bodies that we don't even realize when it is taking place!
This. Is. Terrible.
​
In this day and age, we are under so much stress that that our bodies have become desensitized to the benefits of cortisol. 
 When we are unable to fight inflammation, our bodies are susceptible to many dis-eases. 
Just think about the difference we can make
by simply changing our state of mind. 
This brings us once again to patterns...
​and breaking them. 
​

My story of negative mindset.  

I came from a place where negative mindset and terrible self-talk were simply a part of life. Or so it seemed. 
There came a day when the effects it had weren't only on my spirit, but my body as well.

I had chronic stress headaches, I gained an unhealthy amount of weight and my hair was coming out by the handful
in the shower every morning. 
(Of course, my social life, diet and other aspects of my lifestyle had MUCH to do with it!)
But the first thing that I changed,
which made all the other things easier to commit to....
My mindset. 

Instead of ....
"I don't have enough time, but this is what we do for fun, who cares, I can never make it happen, I am not enough, this is too hard, a beer will make it better, I can sleep when I die, I am too busy, my life is so hectic and I can't focus"

​I started saying things like....
"I will find the time, I don't need to go out tonight, I matter, exercising will make it better, sleep feels so good, I have had a productive day and I need to give myself a minute to 
get grounded and be present."

Positive self-talk leads to positive verbiage leads to positive actions! Keep climbing!

I saw that the task in front of me was a tremendous one, but the end goal seemed so beautiful that I knew it was
worth all the change I could muster.

When my thoughts changed, my language and speech changed.
My "Go out and do it!" attitude in my mind translated into
"Go out and do it!" verbiage, which then quite naturally turned into "Go out and do it!" behaviors. 

I lost 60 pounds, my headaches went away and my hair has never fallen out again. 
​
​I'll be honest, negativity can still slip into my thoughts and speech,
​but I recognize it right away, and I correct it!
The same way I did all those years ago!​

LET ME HELP YOU DO THE SAME. SCHEDULE A CONSULT HERE.

Tips on how to break the patterns of negative mindset.

​There are many different ways in which our negative mindsets can rear their ugly faces. 

Through self-talk, as we've already covered. With things like, 
"I am so stupid sometimes!"
Self-labeling. "I just got out of a bad relationship,
I am damaged goods."
Personalization. "He must not have wanted to come
since I will be there."
Predicting. "There is no way I am going to get that promotion."
Catastrophizing. "I am such an idiot! I will never make
it in this company if I don't start doing better!
I'll get fired before anything else!"
Projecting. "Oh, you really think I'm an idiot, don't you?"
Complaining. That relentless nagging that goes on.
"I am so sick and tired of the way things are done around here. Damn, anyone could do a better job than her/him/me. I wish someone would just blow the place up already."

These are just some that directly relate to the thinker. But there are many more. Overly critical thinking of others, judging others, or using some of the same examples above
when thinking of other people. 

Here are the top tried and true practices which helped me personally on my journey to changing my negative mindset. 

1. Be mindful.
Practicing mindfulness is a major first step. 
Slow down. Take notice of your triggers. What emotions go through your body? What memories are stirred? What was the very first negative thought that came to mind? 
Taking notice of the when/where/how of negative thoughts is needed in order to break the pattern. 

2. Identify
With practice in being mindful it will become more and more easy to identify when and how your mind goes through its thought processes. Which will make the next step easier. 

3. Rewire the negative thoughts. 
This is where you can use some of the examples in my story.
But.. here are some more.

Instead of:
"I don't have any time for myself in the morning,
I am way too busy!"
You can say:
"I am so fortunate to get to spend time with my children every morning and make sure that they get to school safe. Maybe I'll wake up 30 minutes earlier to read the paper before it's time for them to wake up."

Instead of:
"I will never get this right. I've always been an idiot when it comes to finances."
You can say:
" I've not done well at saving money in the past but I will try something new and seek out help from an expert."

4. Practice gratitude.
It will be a tremendously long, up-hill battle if you do not acknowledge your blessings and instead always focus on you short comings. There is very little benefit to the first three practices if you cannot appreciate all of the good things in your life. 

"I am working on bettering my financial situation, which will be great because I make a really great income"
"It is so beautiful outside, it's so wonderful to only have to work a half day on Good Friday."
"I am so grateful to have supportive friends and family by my side while I tackle this demanding wellness regimen."

5. Affirmations. 
Show yourself support and love by giving yourself frequent pats on the back. They can be as simple as:
"You are going to kick Monday's butt!"
or as complex as:
"Your dedication and hard work and resourcefulness are going to bring great things to you today!"

These were my top 5 tools while working on breaking negative mindset patterns.  Some days I was awesome and some days I needed way more pick me ups than others. But I never gave up on myself. I showed up for myself time and time again!
 
Consistency is what changes patterns. Every day. No cheat days. 
Of course, don't beat yourself up if you slip.
​Be compassionate and then get yourself back in line!

Afterthought on negative thoughts.

Sometimes it is difficult to appreciate the idea that our thoughts are so powerful. I know because I was once that person who
would have disregarded the idea had it been presented to me. 
If you too are a skeptic, I challenge you to give some of these practices a try and see what comes up for you.
​You have got nothing to lose and everything to win!
Let's try to move away from the emotional stress,
physical dis-ease and trying situations that can be linked with
prolonged negative mindset. 
Let's move out of the "victim" role and into the 
"victor" role!
Let's move into transformation!
​Let's be well.  

Positive mindset and positive self-talk can put you on a surefire path to wellness!